Dear Holy Spirit,
There is something I need to say. I’m unsure of who You are. But I guess that’s okay. Because I’m told that You are part of me.
That You’re alive in every cell. That You know all my desires and You know my heart quite well.
The Bible says You are my helper. Sent to remind me of the truth. To pray for me when I can’t,
And teach me to bear good fruit. I’m told I need to make time for You, to sit quietly and listen for Your voice. To wait for Your wisdom and clarity to guide me in every choice. Spirit this all sounds amazing, I’ve always wished for someone like You. But why have I never felt Your presence, or heard You speak if this is all true?  I’m not questioning Your existence, nor saying that You aren’t here. But it seems I would feel Your presence or hear Your voice if You are so near. For as much as I want to follow You, and as much as I want to trust, You’re no more than an idea for me; a vague and illusive construct. For I’ve been told to get to know You
But I’ve never been told how. Others seem to have an insight with which I was not endowed. So I’m asking you to help me have an experience I know is real. It doesn’t need to be a vision, but, maybe a unique sensation I feel.  I need something that I will know is serious. More than a mere idea, Spirit, I need a tangible experience. Spirit, I hope You can forgive me, if what I’m saying is blasphemous. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, sinful, or rebellious. I only want to be honest; that I can’t hear You nor feel You near. I don’t know who You are, and it fills my heart with fear.
For I know to grieve you, Spirit, is a unique and dangerous sin. Of all the sins I might commit,
only this one can’t be forgiven. So I humbly bow to you, Spirit,
And I ask you to search my heart. See that I seek to know you, so I won’t feel so far apart. But how can we have a relationship without touch, sound, or sight?
Spirit, please try to explain this to a mind that is concrete and finite. And I promise I’ll keep listening, hoping to hear you speak. As I pray for understanding
of this relationship I so desperately seek.
©Linda Troxell