Did You Know?

Did you know that I’ve been waiting for you?
A fact I can no longer deny.
I won’t be surprised if you didn’t know,
Because, really, neither did I.
But now when I look into your eyes
And your mere touch sets me on fire,
I find it hard to hide from the truth
Of my consuming abject desire.

I thought I had dodged that bullet,
Escaped my feelings for you.
Been spared the storm of confusion.
The dream of love that never comes true.
But lightning struck without warning,
My cover was easily blown,
My carefully planned isolation destroyed
By your voice at the end of the phone.

I pretended it was just a family thing,
Only friendship deep at its core.
I rationalized my need to touch you
As affection, nothing more.
But the image of you as my lover
Was one I could not keep at bay.
And persistent daydreams and night dreams
Began to haunt me and sweep me away.

Now the feeling that I’ve been waiting for you,
Grows stronger with each passing day.
While I hide in the role of a really good friend
In this endless game that we play.
Never daring to tell you the truth.
Or share the me that is real.
Never daring to explore just who you are.
Or the quality of love that you feel.
I’m still trying to dodge that bullet,
To escape from my feelings for you.
Hoping to avoid the devastation
Of love that never comes true.
©Linda Troxell, 1999