When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:3

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. Psalm 103:10

“I, the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:10

More than I’ve Ever Supposed

God, the wonders that Your hands have created
Are overwhelming for me to behold.
And I’m sure that the depth of Your love for me
Is much more than I’ve ever supposed.
How do I show my love for You, God?
How can I ever praise You enough?
What could I possibly do for You
That compares to Your outrageous love?

 I bring You the first fruits of my heart.
I read Your Word and pray to You.
Haven’t I invited You into my life
With a heart that’s open and true?
What You ask of me is so little
Compared to what You give in return.
If there’s more that I need to give, Lord,
Please won’t You help me to learn?

 I know I should forsake the enemy,
Stop listening to his lies.
Stop opening up my heart to him,
Letting him destroy me from inside.
You’ve told me I can always know Your voice
For, You speak only words of love.
Words I won’t hear from the enemy
Because they’re words he’s incapable of.

Of course, I need to take care of the needy,
The lonely, the broken, the afraid.
Show them to whom they belong
As I give them comfort and aid.
Help me bring our family together, Lord.
Help me to tell them of Your return.
That they may know Your love for them,
Lord, make them also eager to learn.

You, God, are our Father in heaven.
We, Your children by water and spirit rebirth.
Co-heirs with Your Son to Your kingdom,
Part of Your one family on earth.
Lord, I surrender my life to Your will 
Because You know what’s best for me.
I want to walk hand in hand with You
On the path to my destiny?
Linda Troxell © 02/15/2022

Undone by God’s Love

Have you ever, out of the blue, become overwhelmed by the goodness of our God? Maybe, you were daydreaming, washing the dishes, or even reading the Bible, and suddenly you were overwhelmed by emotion. The sheer knowledge of God’s goodness made your heart swell with love and your eyes fill with tears of gratitude.   

This happens to me periodically. Beyond the times when God has done something to demonstrate to me how good He is, and aside from the gratitude I feel for answered prayers, I am sometimes, for no reason at all, overcome by knowing that a God so good actually loves me. And not me as part of the entire world, but, He loves me personally.

I remember the first time I heard someone say that her whole world changed the minute she realized God’s love for her is personal. And that even if she had been the only one on earth separated from God by sin, Jesus would still have died for her. The impact of her statement changed my life as well. It allowed me to know, for the first time, what it means to have a personal relationship with God.

Conversely, I’ve had, as I’m sure you’ve had, times in my life that I felt worried, anxious, even desperate for a solution to a problem. And after many sleepless nights, days of wringing my hands, and chewing off all of my fingernails, I came to the conclusion there was no solution to my problem.  Because I could see no way that the things that needed to happen, could, indeed, happen, I knew it was hopeless. 

It wasn’t hopeless, as you know. And the fact that I cannot remember what I was so desperate about speaks to the fact that some solution presented itself, or the situation was just not as dire as I thought it was. However, there are those few I remember. The ones that were, in fact, dire. 

A very long time ago, I lived in Reno and I was raising my young daughter as a single mom. One day she began to have headaches for no apparent reason. After a few weeks, I took her to the doctor. Despite many tests, he couldn’t find a cause, and finally, he referred me to an Audiologist. 

After she was examined by the audiologist he told me that he suspected a syndrome that had to do with the inner ear. But for a proper diagnosis, he needed to run another test. This test, he warned me was time-sensitive. If his suspicion was correct, over time this syndrome could cause permanent damage. 

Easy enough right? Well, the test, It turned out, would cost $900, and my insurance would not pay. For me, at that time, $900 was no different than $1 million, I didn’t have it and there was just no way I could ever get it. My job did not pay well, we had enough for rent, food, and other necessities, but there was nothing left at the end of any given month. 

This was a time in my life when I was even less than a lapsed believer, I was a believer of convenience. Meaning I prayed only when I needed Him. So, I began to pray and I asked others to pray as well. According to the Bible, I should not have expected any results from my prayer. And really, I didn’t.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:3

I had no hope and even less belief that prayer would work. Because I could see no way to come up with $900.00, nor, could I see the doctor doing the test for free. Those were the only two ways, in my mind, this problem could be solved. It didn’t once occur to me that God has ways that are above and beyond my wildest dreams. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8

But we serve a mighty and loving God!

About a month later, still frightened and frantic, I was putting on my jacket as I left work and in the pocket, I found 5 quarters. Without much thought, I walked up to a poker slot machine and dropped all 5  in. After all, $1.25 was was not going to make a dent in the $900 I needed. I watched in despair with tears in my eyes and feeling hopeless.

Until that is, as I watched the window of the slot machine I saw the ten of hearts revealed, followed in quick succession by the Jack, Queen, King, and Ace of hearts. Bells started ringing and quarters started pouring into the tray under the machine, I had just hit a Royal Flush. I had won $1,000. Enough to pay for my daughter’s test with $100 leftover for groceries for a week or two. 

This is one experience, but not the only one, when God came through for me even when I wasn’t coming through for Him. Or maybe he came through for my daughter. Either way, it was an act of pure love, nothing at all in it for Him. Not even proper gratitude. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. Psalm 103:10

I am ashamed to admit that except for a day or so of telling everyone how God had blessed me, I really never gave Him any credit. I never thought much about it at all except when I would bring it out as a good story to tell at cocktail hour. And although I gave God credit in the story, it was only something I said, not something I really believed. 

After I became a real Christian, or to say it more appropriately, I guess, a full Christian, I really looked at that blessing again. And even though it wasn’t timely, I got down on my knees and I thanked God for being there for me when I was so disrespectful. But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 2 Peter 3:8

Although I was really late with my gratitude, I hoped that because He lives outside of time He wouldn’t mind. I swear I heard His voice in my head say, “That’s what father’s do.” Or, maybe it was my mom’s voice. That’s definitely something she would say.  

Since then I see, feel, or hear something about God almost every day that is overwhelming for me. His goodness, His power, His compassion, and more. And every day, I feel like I fall short of glorifying Him. Not because I don’t want to, not because I don’t try,  but how does one properly glorify someone who is great beyond our understanding?

There are no words, no thoughts, and no imagination big enough to say what I feel about Him. Maybe that’s why He created us in a way that He could read our hearts. For even though our hearts lie to us and can lead us astray, I don’t think they can lie to God. That means  He can see the real feelings, the core feelings if you will. “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:10

I do make it a practice now, to never wait, but to give thanks to Him in the moment. It isn’t always possible to get on our knees or to take time with Him alone, but we can always point our eyes heavenward for the few seconds it takes and say, “Thank You, Lord!” under our breath. And make no mistake, that’s a perfect prayer. A short but sincere prayer is more pleasing to God than a long flowery prayer said just for show ever could be.

I am retired now and I live alone with my dog, Harlow. That affords me the luxury of holding an ongoing conversation with God out loud, and all day long. I can pray loud or I can whisper. I can sing His praise, or I can cry my eyes out. Because the only one who hears or sees it is God. Well, and Harlow too. 

I cannot tell you how comforting that is for me. It is a bit like God is in the house with me. When I’m talking to Him, it’s as if He is in the next room. I can’t see Him, but I know He’s there because He answers me by participating in some manner or another. 

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you, my daughter’s test turned out fine. She didn’t have the syndrome and her hearing was perfect. Of course, you wouldn’t have known it, as much as she tried to ignore me when I called her name.

Let’s pray

Lord, we have all, at some time believed there was no solution to our problem or situation. We were short-sighted, thinking because we could see no way to work it out, You couldn’t see one either. Forgive us, Lord, for selling You so short. You have ways that we don’t even know exist. And if there isn’t already a way, You are God, You can make a new way. We know You are powerful, we know You are loving, we know You are good, we know You are compassionate and merciful, and more. We know You are so big that we cannot even put Your glory into words. And we tend to think that this means we can’t tell You how we feel about You. But that isn’t true, is it Lord? Because, You, Lord can know our heart. You can read it and know the feelings we have that we can’t put into words. You know each of us so well because You made us, You knitted us together in our mother’s womb. Thank you, God, that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. And that we are made to communicate with You. And when we can’t do so verbally, You simply read the heart that  You put in each of us. Thank You, my God, for loving me so much that You’ve made me in a way that I cannot hide from You, not in guilt, not in shame, and not in fear. Lord, I am simply undone by Your outrageous love. I pray this in the name of Your Son, Jesus, Amen 

Points for Pondering and for Prayer

Or

Perhaps for Putting Pen to Paper

Have you had an experience like the one I described in opening this blog? An experience when out of the blue you are struck by God’s goodness or His love and you are overcome with feeling?

If you have,  write a few lines about what it was like.

Are there blessings in your life for which you have not given God the credit He deserves?

Are there perhaps more than one?

How do you feel about neglecting to thank Him?  It’s not too late. Do you want to thank Him now?

It’s easy to do, simply:

Write the blessing down, or if more than one, make a list of blessings you’ve never thanked God for.  Now, acknowledge your wrong to God out loud. Then either get on your knees and thank Him and ask for His forgiveness, or write a prayer to Him to say those same things.

Do you think it’s important to thank God for every blessing? What do you think about thanking Him silently at the moment? Have you ever done that? 

If you have,  write a few lines about how that felt for you. 

If you haven’t, you should try it.