But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you. Matthew 5:44

…[a]gainst the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:12.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2. 

If You Ask Him He’ll give You a Key

When you’re trying to run toward God
And your quick sprint has become a slow plod,
When your problems all seem unsolvable
And your happy face has become a façade,
When you’re wondering how to do this alone
With faith that feels more like a fraud,
Maybe you’re really running on pride
And this battle belongs to God!

When your anxiety has gone off the chart
Because you can’t seem to find accord,
When you’ve always been proud of your work,
But now your work deserves no awards,
When you used to be the first one to serve
But now you just can’t get on board,
Perhaps it’s time to step down as the hero
Because this battle belongs to the Lord.

Sometimes the battle we’re trying to fight
Was never meant to be our task.
But once we’ve taken it upon ourselves
God won’t intrude unless we ask.
So, each time we’ve been too prideful
To let God see behind our masks,
Is a time that our pride got in the way
Of our Heavenly Father having our backs.

Your good works cannot make you worthy
For worthiness cannot be achieved.
It can only be found through the Son of God
His truth is the power that sets us free.
God is reaching out His hand to you
He’s just waiting for you to believe.
Do you understand He owns Heaven
And if you ask Him He’ll give you a key?
Linda Troxell © 04/09/2021

Allowing God to Change Me

Almost a year ago, while I was reading what is known as the Sermon on the Mount in the book of Matthew, I felt that God was telling me He wanted me to work on what’s called for in Mathew 5:44. This was a pretty big deal for me because I seldom feel God is telling me anything directly. I mean personally, like He is speaking to me in some way.  

I’ve worked on this task almost every day since. And in the last few months, I have been feeling pretty smug about my progress. After all, I have come a long way in learning to let go of all my anger toward those who have hurt me or taken advantage of me. Not only don’t I ruminate about my enemies like I used to, I have even done anonymous good deeds for a few when the opportunity presented itself.

I don’t do it perfectly; I no longer even try to do it perfectly. I’ve finally accepted that only Jesus does anything perfectly.  However, I do think I am doing it well. Or at least I am doing well in my attempts to let go. Sounds really great, huh?

But leave it to God to change the goal post when we come within scoring distance. Now, I see that He is asking me to love, bless, do good, and pray for my enemies: But I say unto you, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Matthew 5:44 (KJV)

 Can He do that? Can He change everything just as I have begun to do what He asked? Well, He is God, I guess He can do whatever He wants to do.

But we know that God didn’t change a thing about what He asks of us in Matthew 5:44. Rather, He has changed me enough that I now spend more time in His word and so I can read it more accurately.

How could I have possibly misread a clear and uncomplicated verse and willfully worked to control my anger to fulfill a command God never made of me? Well, I think my pride filled self-congratulations above might give us a clue.

Let’s look at the second and third paragraphs above. Along with way too much self-satisfaction there are 3 elements of those statements containing clues to how I could have gone so wrong as I told myself I was pleasing God.

First, please notice that I used the term I, me, or myself 17 times in just 7 sentences! Next, notice how many times I used any form of God’s name in those same 7 sentences; yes, that’s right, one time; one time in which I am comparing myself to Jesus!

Finally, notice that in Matthew 5:44, in which God tells us how to treat our enemies, there is not even one reference to anger or to letting go of control. Yet, for months I have been striving to let go of control and willfully repent of my anger, in order to fulfill God’s request of me in that scripture.  Why would I do that?

The answer is so clear to me today. It’s because I was doing it all MY WAY. I was working diligently and ALONE to change my thoughts and control my anger. Not bad goals to work toward.  But also not the goals God set for me in Matthew 5:44, nor the way God wants me to work on my problems.

But there is something very useful that came out of this exercise in self-congratulations, otherwise known as pride.  I have discovered that if I’m going to meet the high bar of God’s expectations to love, bless, do good things, and pray for those who I consider my enemies, I need to stop trying to control anything and start allowing God to control everything as he changes me.

If I am going to bless my enemies, God must change my eyes allowing me to see only His masterpiece in each face I encounter. Then, perhaps I will understand that every blessing I give is a blessing I get.

If I am to do good works for my enemies, God must give me the understanding that giving is counterintuitive. What I give does not diminish what I have but increases what I have, as well as expanding my ability to receive. Then I will want to give good things abundantly to all.

And, if I am going to pray for my enemies, God must change what I believe about prayer. He must bring me to the understanding that praying isn’t about asking for things. Praying is about changing things. Every time I pray, it changes me and brings me a bit closer to being like Jesus. This, then, makes me want to pray without ceasing for everyone.

If I am to reach these goals, which have now become very important to me, I must turn my heart over to God and allow Him to change my heart of stone to a heart of flesh.

A heart that can be filled so full of love that there is no room for enemies, only love for every child of God.  I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  Ezekiel 36:26

For now, I am going to look on the bright side and simply thank God that He helped me to see my error now, rather than after a few more months pushing forward to a mistaken goal. And I won’t forget to be thankful too for His help with all of that work I did letting go of anger; it’s not like it was wasted.

NOT THE END

I posted something very much like this on a social media site and after I did I engaged in the following series of comments.

Comment: “But that’s not easy.

Answer: “Yes, but if it was easy, it wouldn’t mean as much would it?”

After I sent that reply I thought about what a lazy and clichéd non-answer it really was, and I felt bad. But I shouldn’t have, because the comment that came back was very interesting and it challenged me mightily

Comment: “Who does it mean much to, me or God? Doesn’t forgiving over and over again make you a martyr? Or a fool?”

I was taken aback, but I could not deny that the idea resonated with me. My knee jerk reaction to her question was very much to agree with what I thought she was expressing. That is, if we aren’t on guard, others will take advantage of us.

There is no denying that I was powerfully drawn to the idea. Yet, at the same time I was repelled by the feelings it brought up. I had been unaware that those old feelings were still clinging to my heart.

I needed some time to explore this idea my commenter had presented. It’s a belief shared by many, perhaps even most, people in our culture. The belief that if we give, or forgive, “too much” we are fools, or as my commenter suggested, martyrs.    

It would be easy for me to get lost in this deceptively simple concept. For, it is a familiar idea, most of us grew up with. Especially those of us who didn’t have a Christian upbringing. But even those who did were still influenced to some degree. Because it is part of the ethos of our culture. I have to admit it would be easy for me to relax in this idea. But instead I was uneasy.

I found that there were several things that presented a struggle for me when I meditated on the commenter’s question. One that loomed large was the ubiquitous “common sense.”  As in common sense says that if one forgives the same person over and over and over again, one is allowing oneself to be used. And the same “common sense” tells us that allowing oneself to be used is to be a fool or a martyr.

It took some soul searching as well as some Bible searching for me to get to the end of this conundrum. And in the end it was the same common sense I’d been struggling with that ran me straight into a brick wall knocking me free of it.   

Essentially, it boiled down to this, if I go with common sense, and clearly some part of me was drawn to it, then I would have to believe that God is a fool and a martyr. Of course that can’t be right, right? There had to be a different answer.   

The whole time I was contemplating this issue, there was a basic war going on in my heart and soul between good and evil. I was not wrestling with flesh and blood. I was wrestling with the same God Jacob wrestled with, or, more likely, I was wrestling…against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:12.

Finally, however, I found the Bible truth that settles it all. I’m sure you all are way ahead of me. Because, the shock of finding out that I still had an attraction to such worldly thinking in my heart, no matter how hidden, knocked me for a loop, as they say.

That realization took time and distracted me from the primary struggle of proving Biblically that we are not fools for forgiving easily and often.  But, I did, finally find the truth to end the common sense struggle.  My fallacy was, of course, allowing common sense to have a role in my thinking.

Because common sense is worldly sense, and as Christians we are to live our lives according to Godly sense. The Bible tells us in Romans 12 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2.  So, there it is, settled, we need to pay no heed to worldly sense, more widely known as common sense.

But what of the original question? Does the Bible actually tell us whether or not forgiving over and over again makes us fools? Well, the Bible doesn’t answer the question just that way, but it does give us an answer.

In Matthew 18:21 Peter comes to Jesus to ask a similar question to ours. He asked Jesus, this question. “When a brother sins against me should I forgive him up to 7 times?  Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:22. Surely, Jesus was not speaking literally. Wouldn’t it be silly to think that He meant for us to count offenses and forgive them up to 490 and then the forgiving runs out?

It makes far more sense that Jesus was using seven times seventy as an alliteration of Peter’s original 7. The large number of 490 is to indicate limitless forgiving.  And when we consider that 7 is the number of completion in the Bible, I think it lends even more weight to that conclusion.

As I regained my peace, I wondered why the question of being a fool for forgiving had shaken me so badly.  It wasn’t long before I realized that the reason I struggled with a resurgence of this worldly concept is that there were whispers from my childhood struggle in the mix.

I did not grow up in a strictly Christian home. My mom grew up a Christian, my dad grew up Christian Science. However as children we had no formal religious education, nor did we go to church. We had only the model of my mom’s behavior and her expectation of us.

She always seemed to do the right thing. At least that’s how it seemed to teenagers who carried the burden of her expectations. She never lied that I know of and she was the most forgiving person I’ve ever known.

Still, what she told us and what she modeled for us ran head long into what the culture said and modeled. And we had nothing to cling to that denied that she was simply old fashion. Or worse, she was a fool.

My upbringing did instill in me a sense that we should always do what’s right. And I believed, somewhat against cultural norms, that doing right is its own reward. However, meeting her high standards, to say nothing of God’s standards, proved difficult without an anchor to hold on to.

 It isn’t surprising that when I was an adult, even though I may have had some Christian values, I certainly was not a Christian. I believed fully that Jesus existed as a man. As son of God, mostly no but it did depend on which book I had recently read. And I believed in God, without question, albeit a different kind of God than the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

But I didn’t have a “me first” personality and was not by nature materialistic. However, I was terrified that I might be a fool or a martyr. I did everything I could to avoid being seen as a too foolhardy to know when I was being scammed or taken advantage of.

I’ve been a Christian long enough that I was surprised that old childhood sensitivities could affect me so seriously. But now, I realize that there is no clock for being totally free of old training, I had that ghost of “Never be a fool” sneak up on me and send me into a tailspin.

I’m glad I was shown this vulnerability in my Christian thinking. It is wise to be aware of such sensitivities, because we know the enemy is very aware of them and is prowling around looking for a way to use them against us.  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1Peter 5:8

Thank you for allowing me to share my process with you. I hope it wasn’t TMI. I thought that, perhaps, by allowing you to see my struggle, it might afford you some insight into some part of yourself, or perhaps, into someone you know. I pray that it blessed you in some way big or small as it blessed me.

Let’s Pray:

Lord, here we are on our knees praising you for allowing us personal access to you any time we need guidance, support or comfort. We have Jesus to advocate for us, and the Holy Spirit to guide us, but still, we can come directly to you as well. Thank you, God, for that privilege. God, we all struggle with things from our past. Perhaps it is that we were not taught about you, or worse that we were taught against you. Perhaps it is old behavior that still comes trying to convince us we aren’t good enough to be a child of yours. Or just old worldly thought patterns that we thought were long gone. But no matter how long or complicated we make the struggle to find the answer to that problem, in the end, it is simple. If we turn to your word and turn to your love, we will find your Truth. That we are children of the King, reborn in the Spirit, cleansed by the Blood of Jesus, our sins redeemed and Forgiven for all time by Your grace, and co-heirs with Jesus to Your Kingdom. And when we know that truth, God, there is nothing else we need to know! Please help us, Lord, in our times of crisis to remember that simple but earth shaking knowledge. We pray this in the mighty and holy name of Jesus, Amen

POINTS FOR PONDERING OR PRAYER

OR

PERHAPS FOR PUTTING PEN TO PAPER

Have you ever set your mind to achieve the command of a certain scripture, and then, as I did, find out that the scripture didn’t say what you thought it said?

If yes, how did you feel when you found out?   For me there was redeeming value in the actions I took.  For example, I needed to work on my anger even though the verse in question had no mention of anger in it.  

Was there redeeming value in your experience?

Write a paragraph about what you learned in spite of misreading the scripture.

If you have never had that experience, imagine how it would feel. Write something about what you imagine you would feel.

Are there things from your past, even from your childhood, that you thought you had dealt with but have come up unexpectedly in your Christian walk?

If yes, how surprised were you when it happened the first time.

Write a paragraph about what ambushed and how you felt when it happened.

Do you worry about being taken advantage of for giving too much?      

 Have you been taken advantage of in the past when giving?         

If you have write a bit about what happened and assess how you feel about it now.                               

Have you let go of it?