But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses, -Matthew 6:15

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” –Matthew 18:35

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” –   Ezekiel 36:23

Your Word
Lord, when my mind is filled with confusion
About what I want, what I need and deserve,
I can search around fruitlessly for answers
Or, I can simply go to Your Word.
For, Your Word is truth revealed to man;
It prepares us for good works to start.
It’s useful to correct, teach, and train,
A sword that cuts to the truth in our hearts.

God, whenever life gets the best of me,
When my belief wavers and my faith blurs,
The remedy is always more of You.
So, I fall to my knees and recite Your Word.
“The Lord is my strength and my shield.
When I trust in Him my faith is strong.
The Lord is my rock and my refuge
When I trust Him my heart fills with song.”

Lord, when I feel empty and alone,
When sorrows pierce my heart like a sword,
I don’t have to search for solace
I just sit down and read from Your Word.
It tells me to worry for nothing
But on my knees tell You what I need.
You don’t promise I’ll get what I ask for,
You only promise a heart and a mind at peace

 And, Lord, when my life is only blessings,
When it overflows with the grace You’ve conferred,
When laughter and song is my soundtrack,
I rise up and rejoice in Your Word.
I dance and sing in praise of You
As I celebrate all broken chains,
I sing because when all things pass away
I know my sovereign Lord will still reign.

Lord, You never promised this life would be easy
In fact, You told us it would not.
But You promised if we walked through life with You
We would finish in the heaven that we sought.
We must keep our eyes on the prize ahead.
So, for me, no matter what a day might bring,
There is nothing that I can’t make better
By praising God with the song that I sing.
Linda Troxell, © 11/18/2020

We went through so much in 2020, most of it frightening, contentious and divisive. We were invaded by an invisible enemy, one that is silent but for the weeping that attends its death toll. A toll that still increases day by day.

We have been asked, at times ordered, to wear a mask, shelter in place, ( did you even know what that meant before 2020?) leave our jobs and close our businesses. Many of our neighbors don’t have enough to eat. Maybe we don’t either.

Many of us would have lost our homes but for the moratorium on eviction ordered by Congress. But now, that protection implemented in March 2020, is ready to expire unless a new bill is passed in the Senate.

We have watched our government representatives, Republican and Democrat, Senators and Congresspersons, fight like school yard bullies about this package or that bill while we the people are ready to go under for the third time.

And yes, there was an election; America at her worst for all the world to see. And in case some of the world missed it from the election itself, there was the after math. A shameful display of just how little respect a large number of Americans, indeed, a large number of American leaders, really have for our democracy.

And we are angry! We are resentful!  And we are fed up!  So how do we get beyond these feelings that are eating us alive?

Well, I’ll tell you how folks, we forgive. Yes, I really said that. When we look at how to stop the damage caused by holding onto anger and resentment, justified or not, through the lens of Christianity, or the lens of secular psychology, the answer is the same. We must forgive. And forgiving might be the most difficult thing to ask of a human being.  But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses, –Matthew 6:15

Forgiveness Matthew 18:26-35
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him (the master) ‘Be patient with me’, he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.” 28) “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. (29) “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ (30) “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. (31) When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. (32) “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. (33) Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ (34) In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. (35) “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.

There may be people in this world who agree with the servant owed the money in the story above. But I don’t know them. I hope you don’t either because in today’s money he was owed less than $20. Yes $20, and the man to whom he owed money had just forgiven him of all of his debt after much begging. But two minutes later here he is with the grace given him totally forgotten. Unbelievable! Right?

Well, not really. Maybe we’ve never sent anyone to prison for a debt they owed us, but every single one of us have imprisoned someone in our minds through unforgiveness. Meaning if you are a Christian, you are that man who forgot the grace given him and would not forgive the other man’s debt. Oh yeah, it’s dawning on you now, right?

But for those whom it still is not making sense, let me explain. Each and every Christian has been extended the grace of forgiveness we do not deserve. That is what God did when He sent Jesus to redeem our sin so God could forgive us. And still we have a difficult time forgiving our brothers and sisters. The late Lewis B. Smedes, a professor of theology at Fuller Seminary, is credited with saying: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

But forgiving, difficult or not, is necessary. It is necessary because psychologists tell us that holding onto hurt and anger leads to bitterness and hostility which in turn leads to chronic stress, high blood pressure, anxiety and depression.

For some it is the beginning of a downward spiral that leads to early death. That makes forgiveness necessary for everyone. And for us Christians it is even more necessary. Why you ask, come on you know why, because God asks it of us.  That’s the hard news. But here’s the good news.

Christians have an advantage. Because while forgiving is just as difficult for us, we don’t actually have to do it ourselves. We only have to understand that those we need to forgive deserve our forgiveness just as much as we deserved God’s forgiveness; that is, not at all. And then we need to be willing to forgive. Once we have done that, we can ask God to help us by making our hearts forgiving.

If we are sincere in our request, God will answer that prayer. He will be delighted to answer that prayer. Because He’s the guy who invented forgiving, He wants us to forgive each other.

But what about those of us who have tried to do that work, but still we just can’t bring ourselves to be willing to forgive? Well this is the beauty of our God. Those of us who can’t quite be willing to forgive, really only need to be willing to be willing to forgive. I know that may be confusing and sound a bit crazy, but if we talk it through, it isn’t really hard to understand.

First, let’s look at what willingness really means. The dictionary defines willingness as: Not opposed to in mind; free choice or consent of the will; freedom from reluctance; readiness of the mind to do or forbear. Compliance. Some synonyms are, agreeable, ready, prepared, and inclined.  

So, when we are willing to be willing we are not opposed to the idea of being willing. We are ready, prepared, inclined, and have no reluctance to freely make the choice to be willing. OK, I’ll stop, you get my point. When we are willing to be willing we are saying that we just can’t get there but if we were to wake up tomorrow and feel willing, that would be okay with us. Oh, if it were only that easy.

Once we are willing to be willing, we can then take that to God. If we tell Him that we can’t seem to change our heart enough to forgive, and ask Him to prepare it to forgive He will soften our heart. “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” –   Ezekiel 36:23

Since we know that forgiving is so difficult for all of us; probably the hardest thing ever asked of us, why don’t we just avoid offenses in the first place? Why is it we are so easily offended? That’s a really good question. Because much of the offense we take on is of our own doing.

For example, one way we bring on our own offense is to misinterpret someone’s intentions by assuming we know what they think or feel without asking for their input. Think about how often we hear, or even say ourselves, “I know what she meant.” Or, “That’s what he said but he didn’t really mean it.” It’s dangerous to interpret what others do or say, because what we interpret is filtered through our own biasis, experiences, and emotions of the moment.

In the last few years, I have read, or heard in news stories, something I don’t remember from the past. The stories say that the President felt this way or that way about something, “according to someone who is familiar with the President’s thinking”. As if there is someone who has some special power to know what the President thinks.

We are all quite familiar with the thinking of those with whom we are in a close relationship. And we can predict their thoughts without asking them just often enough to keep believing we always know what they think or feel. We forget about the times we didn’t get it right.  

But the truth is that we cannot know what someone is thinking or feeling unless they tell us. If we all kept this in mind we could avoid many misunderstandings that create the need to forgive.

Just a few minutes of conversation can eliminate most misinterpretations or misunderstandings. In turn, those conversations can prevent many offenses. However, pride often gets in the way of having an open conversation regarding our feelings. We are so afraid of being vulnerable by admitting we were hurt, we would rather carry around the weight and slime of a grudge than admit to our human feelings.  

It’s sad that we can’t talk about our feelings more. Because 99% of the time if we told someone we were offended by something they said or did , they would apologize and say they didn’t mean to offend us. They would explain how or why we misinterpreted what they said or did, and we could have a chuckle and, all, would be forgiven.

Of course, there is always that small number who will not explain and will double down on their insult. Likewise, there are times when we go into a situation looking for an insult or an offense. Situations like that are usually a consequence of our pride, or fear, or both.

Sometimes pride is the cause of our refusal to admit we were wrong and to apologize; sometimes pride is a result of our own envy or feelings of inferiority. But whatever the reason, pride can make us go into an interaction with a magnifying glass examining every word and behavior and looking for a grievance. 

Pride is an insidious foe. It is difficult to identify and more difficult to admit to. But it will always undermine whatever it is part of. That’s why when trying to forgive, we must first eliminate the pride in the mix. Whether it is pride that tells us it’s weak to admit to hurt feelings, or pride that is causing envy and resentment of our neighbor over his new car, it must be eliminated before we can forgive.

If we are in a situation in which pride is working against us, we must first pray for those who have offended us and then pray for help with our pride before we even think about trying to forgive.  He has told us, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God. –Micah 6:8

What does this all have to do with 2020 being the worst year of our lives? Or with 2021 not starting off well either? It has everything to do with it. We are all in a situation that is the most uncomfortable for all humans, total uncertainty. There is really nothing that we are certain of, except that God is in charge. And while that should be enough, it can’t be unless we can keep it front and center in our minds at all times.

Uncertainty breeds fear and the go to human emotion for fear and uncertainty is anger. It is so much easier and safer to feel anger than it is to feel fear. In times of uncertainty, fear, and anger our patience is short. It doesn’t take much to make us lash out. Sometimes in a manner so unlike ourselves we don’t even recognize the person who it is yelling.

That, I charitably assume, is the story of those women we see at Walmart, losing their minds over being asked to wear a mask. We all know that life is a really scary thing, and it is especially scary in a worldwide pandemic. I can’t even imagine what it’s like in a worldwide pandemic without God.

I’d be willing to bet that there were far more people who believed in God at the end of 2020 than there was at the beginning.

But we, who are children of the Most High God, are not supposed to use anger as our block for fear. We are supposed to turn our fears over to our Lord who we know will carry them and neutralize them. If you’re anything like me you do just that, intermittently, all day long. But with so much fear in the air, it is hard to keep our eyes on God.

And it is even more difficult to keep our eyes on God and His kingdom when our hearts are full of fear, anger, and hatred. Don’t misunderstand me, it will always help to turn to God. But I have to tell you that it just doesn’t work nearly as well when we are carrying anger and hatred in our hearts. That’s why we need to TRY FORGIVING!

Let’s Pray,

Heavenly Father, we come to you humbly and meekly to lay our sins at your feet and ask for your forgiveness. We are carrying so much fear, anger and even hatred for the way our lives have been turned upside down by the carelessness of those who are supposed to be our leaders. Yet, we know that we are not supposed to look to the world’s leaders for our safety or our peace, because you have told us that everything we need is in you, Lord. We all know that, of course; we believe it, and we count on it. Please forgive us for the times we struggle to keep our eyes on you. We are distracted, Lord, by feelings of fear, and anger, and pain, and by seeing those same feelings mirrored on the faces everywhere we go. Just another reason to keep our eyes on you and your Kingdom. Lord, we all ask that you bless us and give us your favor as we pledge to you that we will forgive all of those by whom we have felt wronged. We will realize that they are only human and doing their best, as we are doing our best, to survive. And we will remember that many of them don’t know you or your Son and so do not have the privilege, as we do, to reach out to you in their fear. So, Lord, please help us to forgive, and help us to turn our anger into love. Let us use that love to reach out to those who need you, helping them to follow it back to you. We thank you for your love and your patience, your mercy and your grace all things without which we would be lost.
We pray this is the mighty name of Jesus, Amen

Points for Pondering or Prayer
Or
Perhaps for Putting Pen to Paper

What are some of the things with which you have struggled the most in 2020?

How did you cope? Did you sometimes find it difficult to keep your eyes on God and His Kingdom?

For who and or what did you feel the most anger?   
The most fear?

What did you do when you were angry?    
When you were afraid?

Did you have to struggle with grief, did someone you love die from the COVID 19 virus? If they did, please know that there were many  people whose name you will never know who were praying for them and for you.

From who, what or where did you find you joy.

What is the first thing you want to do when the pandemic is in total control?