… that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:19

So He drove out the man; and He placed cherubim at the east of the Garden of Eden, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the tree of life. Genesis 3:24

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:18

Spirit Please  

Please, Holy Spirit, come and take control.
Spirit will you please come and fill my soul?  
Spirit please save me from this heart of steel.
Give me a softer heart so I can finally feel
God’s love, love, love;
Let me feel God’s love.  

Please, Holy Spirit, let my mind be still.
Spirit, please can you control my will?
Please, Holy Spirit, clear my eyes of all debris.
Give me the clarity I will need to see
God’s love, love, love;
Let me see God’s love.  

Please, Holy Spirit, I’m on bended knee
Spirit, O please, I petition thee.  
Please, Holy Spirit, purify the love in me.
Sanctify my heart allowing me to be
God’s love, love, love;
Let me be God’s love.
©Linda Troxell 4/19/19x

I’ve only been a serious Christian for a few years. Before that I was what I call a made to order Christian. Those are Christians for whom off the rack, traditional, Biblical, Christianity is just not comfortable. So, they create their own custom made Christianity; and they define the terms of their relationship with God.

If the Bible says we need to tithe, give 10% back to God, that’s no problem for the made to order Christian, they have a rationalization or justification for why that doesn’t apply to them. Perhaps it’s, “God knows I give what I can but I don’t make enough to give away 10%. When I make enough money, I will give God more.” And they have one or more such justifications for every one of God’s rules or laws that don’t suit them.

I lived that Christianity for most of my life. But somewhere along the line God got tired of it and He reined me in. He arranged for me to take an extended time out in which I had nothing much I could do but study the Bible, realign my relationship with God, and learn more about what He really wants from me, and my life.

In the beginning, of course, I was really resistant. I was angry that my life, a life I had worked hard to build, had been disrupted. But slowly, as I let go of my anger, I began to understand the truth of God’s gift in sending His son to redeem our sins. As my understanding of the gift grew, my understanding of its magnitude grew as well. And slowly, gratitude replaced anger.

What do I mean by the truth of the gift? Well, until I began to study the Bible, I did not fully understand the story of Jesus’ death on the cross.

I find that many Christians don’t truly understand why God sent Jesus to redeem our sins. Or even why He had to die. Ask the average Christian why God sent Jesus, and they will say to die and pay for our sins. Which is, of course, true as far as it goes. But it doesn’t go far enough to fully understand the beauty of the finished work of the Cross.

We know that God sent Jesus to die in our place and to save us from the penalty of our sin. But many of us don’t know why it was so important to God that our sins be redeemed. So important that He would send His only son to die a horrible death to redeem them. The answer to this lies in the penalty for sin, which is spiritual death, also known as eternal spiritual separation from God.

Only the sinless and the righteous can abide with God. Therefore, because man was neither, he was on track to suffer eternal separation, also known as hell. Instead, at the moment of Jesus’ death, the sins of man ceased to exist and the righteousness of Jesus became ours. Now we, having been given Jesus’ right standing with God, could abide with Him eternally. The finished work of the cross is reconciliation. It is mankind’s reconciliation with God. …[ t]hat is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:19     

But there can be no reconciliation, unless, there has been separation. So, to fully understand the importance of reconciliation, we have to go back to the original separation in Genesis. In Genesis 1 we see God is busy creating in anticipation of the arrival of His finest creation, man. Verses 1-24 tell us of God’s creation of everything necessary to sustain humans comfortably, and allow them to thrive. God’s plan was for Adam and Eve to live under His blessing, experiencing shalom (peace) in relationship with Him, with each other, and with the environment.

Now, before we can understand God’s plan for Eden we need to take a minute to talk about the Hebrew word shalom. Shalom is probably most familiar to westerners as a greeting of hello or goodbye in Hebrew or other Semitic languages. When shalom is translated into English, the word peace is most often used. Therefore, peace is the word chosen in most English translations of the Bible. But, while shalom does mean peace, its entire meaning is more expansive than can be contained in any single English word. The word peace does not do it justice   

The English word peace is defined in the dictionary as the absence of tension or war. But in Hebrew shalom means so much more than that kind of peace. Shalom means prosperity, welfare and tranquility; as well as harmony, wholeness, and completeness with God, with others, and with all creation. So, when shalom is translated as peace, we lose the essence, the depth, and the beauty of its meaning.

To think of God’s plan for shalom in the Garden of Eden as merely peace is to underestimate the glory of His plan. The very description of the Garden as paradise should tell us that it was more than just peace. God’s plan was for the perfect synergy of all His creations in support of His masterpiece, mankind. And He planed it to be for eternity.

Consider the difference between spending eternity in the absence of tension and war, or spending eternity in prosperity, welfare and tranquility, harmony, wholeness, and completeness with God, with others, and with all creation. I would choose door number 2, wouldn’t you?

But God’s plan did not come to fruition, because God cannot live with sin. And in chapter 3, Genesis tell us that God’s creation was spoiled by sin. The dream of shalom in the Garden of Eden was gone. Because God cannot live with sin, Adam and Eve had to be exiled from the garden, thus spoiling God’s plan to live a perfect, eternal life with them. This was the separation of man from God. He drove out the man; and He placed cherubim at the east of the Garden of Eden, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the tree of life. Genesis 3:24

But God did not simply give up on His plan. And the rest of the Bible is the story of God working to bring His creation back into right relationship with Him. It is the story of God once again making things perfect for His prize creation, this time in preparation for their reconciliation.

Right before He gave up His spirit Jesus said, “It is finished.” What was finished was the groundwork for man’s reconciliation with God. This, then, is the finished work of the cross.  

Once I understood the whole story, once I knew that God had been working out this reconciliation since He first expelled Adam and Ever from the Garden, I was astounded by the scope of God’s love. The kind of love that would do whatever was required to reconcile with His beloved, who is us.

And once I took the time to really understand the sacrifice Jesus made and the obedience to the Father required of Him to offer Himself up for torture and death, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:18

Before God took control of my life, I was like many Christians; that is not very curious. I was content to know that Jesus died for my sins, so I’m going to heaven, done. But after I began to obey God, when I read something new or something I did not understand I was curious and I searched until I found out everything I could on the topic.

In my reading of the Bible as well as readings about the Bible, I kept coming across the idea of reconciliation. Although I know the meaning of the word, I wasn’t quite sure what it had to do with Jesus dying on the cross to redeem our sin.

But as I prayed and really listened to God, and as I read the Bible and really began to study it, my understanding of reconciliation grew. And my gratitude grew right alongside my understanding. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21

That gratitude gave me the ability to let go of resentment by changing my view of the season I was in. Instead of viewing this time as being held hostage, I began to see it as a gift. The luxury of time to really get to know God.

Now, instead of being angry that God was forcing me to change, I was grateful that He loved me enough to take me from the path I was on to put me on the path where I belonged. And with that I wanted to grow in my journey of sanctification. I wanted to be the best reflection of Jesus that I could possibly be. Which is just where God had been leading me all along.

I know now that by forcing me to study the Bible and rely on Him to guide me in my journey, God gave me everything I needed to forge a deep and meaningful understanding of His story and special relationship with mankind.

I’m sure that even if I had the desire to learn as much amidst my normal distractions, I would never have taken the time to. Nor would I have taken the time to develop the deep relationship I have with God, left to my own devices. It is a gift for which I will never be able to express my gratitude.

Something that has delighted and amazed throughout my spiritual journey is how quickly things can change. I really enjoy how the Bible shifts and changes as my relationship with God shifts and changes.

Even though the Bible was written as much as 4,000 year ago. And even though it has been copied and translated, in its present form it has been stable for centuries, if not millennia. But I do not see the same things in it today as I did even 10 weeks ago. The words I read have not changed, but what those words say to me has changed greatly.

Consequently, my goals as a Christian have changed and shifted along with my changing understanding. In the beginning, it was important to me to feel God’s love. Not only for me, but also for those I love. Still, it was a very self-centered relationship; God loves me, so I feel good. I suppose that is only natural. How could I really know what His love is, even that it exists at all, until I have felt that love?

When that began to happen, it was unlike anything else I had ever felt. I’ve had plenty of love in my life. My parents both loved me unconditionally and there was not one minute that I can remember thinking or feeling they didn’t. In fact, there were times, when I wished they did not love me so much. For example, when they were doing things “For your own good, because we love you”, I sometimes wished they loved me less.

I have felt the erotic love as well as the more spiritual love beyond the erotic, between a man and a woman. And I have been loved as a daughter, a wife, a friend, a mother and a grandmother. And I have cherished all of it. And loving back has been my lifeline. But the first time I felt the fierce love of God, … well, I would have to say it was the first time I comprehended what love actually is.

It was euphoric. Literally like the old saying, “God was in His heaven and all was right with the world”. It was the first time I really understood what it meant to be loved unconditionally. It was the first time I had ever felt I was perfect, just as I am. It was the first time I fully accepted myself as good enough. I felt, for the first time, that I was everything God said that I was. And it made me want to give Him everything that I had to give.  

From there, my orientation expanded and my goal became to see God’s love. I wanted my vision, my physical vision and my inner vision, or spiritual vision, to be clear enough to recognize God’s love in my everyday life.

Sure, it’s beautiful in the way it’s manifested human to human in times of emergency or disaster; times when everyone works together to get done what needs to be done to meet the emergency. I love seeing those things. But I wanted to see more than that. I wanted to see people taking care of others like that without an emergency. Just out of pure love for one another.

You know what I found out? I found out that if I wanted to see that, I had to turn my will over to the Holy Spirit. I learned that quite literally, we see what we make our minds up to see. I realized that when I look for God’s love in others it is right there.

It is there in little everyday things. Things like a younger person running ahead to open a door for an elderly person using a walker. It’s there in the grocery line when the toddler is crying and mom is trying to pay and the person behind begins to entertain the baby so mom can get done. And it’s there when a stranger’s car quits in the middle of the intersection and suddenly there are ten people he doesn’t know and didn’t ask for help, helping him just the same to push his car to the side of the road. And it’s there in a million other ways we can set our minds to see if we want to see them.

And then I realized that there is far more of God’s love shared everyday than there is the enemy’s hate. But for some reason we notice and remember the hate over the love. At first that discouraged me as I wondered why. Until I realized the answer. It’s because showing love to one another is the normal thing to do. We are made to love and take care of each other.

But the hateful acts are not what we were made for. And we remember things that are not natural, far easier than we remember those that are natural. The natural, like love, is unremarkable. We remember and remark on the odd things we see, like hate. So we too must set our minds to remembering the love of each day and not the hate.

And finally, I grew to the place that God had been trying to take me the whole time. The place He aimed me toward when He captured me and plucked me from the path I was on. I finally wanted more than anything else to learn how to be God’s love. I wanted to know how to reflect the love of Jesus to everyone whose path I crossed each day. I wanted to be one of God’s children who everyone was drawn too but didn’t know why.

You know the ones. The ones of whom we say , “I don’t know why but I liked him the minute I first laid eyes on him.” Or the ones of whom we say, “I felt safe with her from the first time I met her.” We say we don’t know why, but I know why. We are drawn to those people because they have so much love in their heart it spills out and shines on their face. I want to be one of them.

So, I am preparing myself to shine God’s love to everyone I see. First, of course, I pray for God to grant me the faith and the belief that I need in my heart before I can show it to others. Next, I look, always, for God’s love around me and always, for ways I can manifest His love in the world. Well, honestly, I overstated that. I try to always see God’s love and manifest God’s love. But I am not perfect at it and I don’t always succeed.

And that illustrates the last goal. I am learning to put so much of God’s love in my heart it will shine on my face. And I’ve learned that to do that, I must be honest with God, myself and everyone around me. I can only share the authentic love of God if His love in my heart is authentic. 

So there it is. My journey from being a made to order Christian who told God what our relationship would be, to an ordinary off the rack traditional Christian who prays each day for God to define our relationship for that day. When I look back, I am so shocked by my old self. How did I dare to think I could tell God anything, much less what I would and wouldn’t do and what rules I would or wouldn’t follow? It is a testament of God’s love and patience that I have not yet been smote.

Let’s pray
Holy Father, we come into your presence with praise and gratitude. Father we are so grateful that you never gave up on us in all those years between the exile from the Garden and our reconciliation through the death of your Son. We were headed toward eternal separation from you, toward eternal hell. But you loved us too much to allow that to happen. Thank you, Father for the gift you gave to us by your mercy and your grace. Father help us to keep in our minds and our hearts the truth of the finished work of the cross, that we were given by grace everything we need to live in eternity with you. Father, if only we can connect to the truth you placed in our hearts. If only we can, for once and all, understand that there is nothing we need do, indeed, nothing we can do to win eternal life with you. Because you, Father, have already done it all for us. We only need to believe it. Lord, please lead us to understand the gift of salvation and righteousness given to us at the occasion of Jesus’ death. Instead of being anxious about whether we are good enough, let us use that energy to do the work with which you have charged us. Instead of being anxious, let us relax and accept the grace you have given to us. When we do, we will feel your love. Father, when we finally feel the full love you have for us, we will never be anxious again. So, Lord, help us to open our eyes, the physical eyes, yes, but more importantly, our spiritual eyes. For, when we really open our eyes, we will see your love all around us as your children care for one another with the love you have put in our hearts. And Father, help us to see and be aware of your love over the enemy’s hate that we so easily remember. And finally, Lord, lead us to be your love to our brothers and sisters. Let us reflect your love and the love of your Son through our peace, our unconditional acceptance, and our love for everyone with whom we have contact. Allow the authentic love for you in our hearts to connect with the love in the hearts of our brothers and sisters that we may worship you as one.  We pray this in the Holy Name of Jesus, Amen

Points for Pondering and Prayer
Or
Perhaps for Putting Pen to Paper

Do you understand the concept of “made to order Christian” used here?
   
Have you ever rationalized or justified one of God’s commands convincing yourself, it wasn’t meant for you. If yes,
What was the command?      
Did your justification work?      
Write a few sentences about it.

Have you heard the term “Finished work of the Cross”?       
Did you understand what it means?    
Do you understand now?    
Do you think you understand it well enough that you can explain it to someone else? 
If you do, write that explanation here.

Have you felt, seen and/or been God’s love in your life.
Write a sentence or two of how you think that has played out in your life
Or
About how you would like it to play out.