My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. – John 10:27

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.-Isaiah 55:8-9

Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love Ephesians 1:4

 

Feed my Sheep

In times of desperation, I tried to believe in God
Because I simply had to find someone who cared.
But when I called out to Him and got no answer
I began to wonder if anyone was there.

Still, each time I felt lost I prayed for faith.
Because I just didn’t know what else to do.
But when I heard nothing in reply,
I came to believe the God myth was untrue.

After years of searching for the truth.
I’ve come to understand God and His word.
And it is the beauty of His death upon the cross
That has compelled me to accept Him as my Lord.

I understand now I won’t always feel His presence.
Because my feelings are not a measure of His care.
However, trust and belief are measures of my faith.
And essential parts of what I bring to prayer.

When through our faith, we train our eyes upon eternity,
We will begin to see the Word of God set us free.
Allowing us to trust God to give direction
Every time we get down on our knees.

Yet, now I’ve come to wonder, is belief in God enough?
Because even demons believe that He’s divine.
I think God wants more than steadfast faith,
He wants our faith and good works to align.

To please God, we must serve His People.
To do that we need faith and we need action.
We know each has a power of its own,
That grows exponentially through interaction.

“Do you love me, Peter”? “Feed my sheep.”
Three times Peter found this question a distraction.
But the Lord was simply giving him instructions
For a way to put his love into action.

Each night I still ask the Lord for stronger faith.
But now I ask how to put that faith into action.
For, I believe to be obedient requires both;
And it takes both to give God satisfaction.
©Linda Troxell 09/29/2019

 

When I was growing up I had no religious training. Of course, I knew of God and Jesus because at that time prayer was still allowed to be part of public life. There was prayer at school, benedictions of public ceremonies, and of course, there was always a manger scene at city hall. So, everyone had at least a vague view of the Christian God.

Even though I didn’t personally know God, I still prayed when I was scared, or when I wanted something very badly, or when someone I loved was in danger. But, of course, I never got an answer. I saw others get answers to their prayers; at least they told me they did. However, there was no God in heaven to answer my prayers.

Now, I am a Christian and very familiar with God. I use the word familiar in the best sense, I am part of God’s family. I pray every day and most often multiple times a day. I am certain God hears my prayers, but I’m still not totally convinced that I’ve heard from Him. His word tells us that if we are His sheep we will hear His voice. And even though I have seen my prayers answered, I’m not sure that I have heard His voice. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. – John 10:27

When the much-needed answer to a problem just pops into my mind after days of agonizing, and even more days praying, I think that’s from God. But I’m not sure. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes a title of a poem pops into my mind unbidden. And when I sit down to explore it, I write one line and the rest seems to come through my fingers to the keyboard completely bypassing my conscious thought. I think that’s God. But I just can’t be sure. I wonder, is anyone ever sure?

I have a very active and questioning mind. It is much too willing to change at any new thought that wanders by. So, it’s difficult to pin down what I actually think. I am guilty of being an over-analyzer. I don’t think we are a rare species but as I am also an introvert still trying to crawl out of my head, in which I’ve lived for most of my life, I wonder is my need to analyze more extreme than most?

I know that I’m not the only one who has believed if I don’t feel something, God isn’t present. I’m not alone in the mistaken belief that if God has heard my prayer there would be a sign; somehow I would know. I would hear a voice or have chills or know in my heart, whatever that means. I’m not the only one who has believed that the intensity of my feelings is a measure of God’s presence and how much He cares for me. I know I’m not alone in the mistaken belief that my thoughts and feelings can tell me something about God and His motives.

And I know that I’m not the only one who, after years of studying, has learned the truth. The truth is that we are not privy to God’s thoughts and feelings except through reading His word. And our finite minds and deceitful hearts just don’t expand far enough to fully understand God’s majesty, His omnipotence, His love, and His absolute sovereignty.

This inability to fathom just how big our God is tends to make us lose track of the difference between our thoughts and feelings and those of God. Let me give you a reliable clue, if you’re feeling it, it’s yours. Everything about God is infinitely different from anything about us. As He tells us in His word. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.-Isaiah 55:8-9

 

I think part of my confusion about whether or not God communicates with me comes from the fact that

I came to be a believer late in life. I have Christian friends who grew up in a Christian home who say that they can’t remember a time when they didn’t talk to God and believe that He answered. Because they were taught as children that God would answer them they never actually questioned if He did or didn’t. Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

As I said above, in my childhood home there was a vague idea that there is a God but not much beyond that.  My mother had been active in her Protestant church in her teen and young adult years. But she didn’t talk about it much. My dad would only say that he was an agnostic, which sounded very exotic until I learned it just means he couldn’t make up his mind.

So, beyond the belief that there is a God and He watches over us, there was little to no religious or spiritual guidance in my childhood. I never even heard a sentence like, “God laid it on my heart”, or “I’m going to pray about that.” until I became a Christian. So, while I held to this vague belief of God, and even prayed once in a while, I didn’t have any concept of a personal God who might communicate with me.

You might wonder what brought me to be a believer so late in life. I’ve asked myself that question numerous times. But after actually reading and then studying the Bible, my answer was right there. As scripture tells us before the foundation of the world God chose who were to be His children. And so He chose me. Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love Ephesians 1:4

As to the question that logically follows, why He allowed me to be inactivated for so long, I can’t even venture a guess. I have learned that I cannot understand an infinite God with my finite mind. So, I no longer try. But I do know that about 6 years ago He decided it was time for me to know Him and He chased me down and arranged my life so that I had plenty of time to get to know Him. In fact, He arranged my life so that I had nothing very much to do but learn about Him.

 What I’ve learned from the Bible about the God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob and His Son Christ Jesus has rocked my world. It has evoked feelings I didn’t even know I had; it has scared me and given me joy. It has angered me, and it has humbled me. But if I was to pick one overarching emotion for my six-year journey to know my heavenly Father and His Son, it would have to be awe. For, it is a saga full of awe-inspiring events and people leading up to the most awesome story in history, the birth, life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Christ Jesus.

Everything I have learned about the Old and the New Testaments has been fascinating. And much has been inspiring. Well, maybe Leviticus was a bit of a challenge. However, while reading the stories of God’s early people and their joys and hardships, it struck me how much their struggles to be obedient to God were not that different from our struggles today.

Book after book, chapter after chapter, the Bible reveals how the ancient Israelite’s tried and failed to obey God. Their excuses for their disobedience were similar to mine or to those I know today. For me, this speaks to the tenacity of our sin nature. It is remarkable that 4,000 years later despite the gift of our Savior, we are still giving in to sin and we still have excuses for why we do.  Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. –Romans 7:20

It put me in mind of my time as a young mother, how tired I would get when my daughter had an excuse for every misbehavior, and every time she disobeyed the rules. I talked and lectured and threatened dozens of times trying to make her understand that the rules were in place for her safety. Meanwhile, she sat silently with a blank-eyed stare. At times I would get so angry I would have to take a time out because I didn’t trust what I might do.

When comparing and contrasting my experience with my rebellious daughter and God’s experience with His rebellious people, what immediately stood out for me was not the similarity of our experiences but the overwhelming difference. If a few years with one rebellious teenage girl was so difficult for me, what must 4,000 plus years with an ever-increasing world population of rebellious people be for God? I spread out my hands all the day to a rebellious people, who walk in a way that is not good, following their own devices; –Isaiah 65:2

I am not comparing myself to God. Without question, He is lightyears above me in every way. However, sometimes, to look at God’s dealings with us through the lens of a parent makes it easier to understand what God wants from us as well as for us. As a parent, I wanted my daughter to just understand that my rules were not to prevent her from having fun. The rules were in place to keep her safe. She was unable or unwilling to see that.

God’s rules for us are also for our benefit but the stakes are infinitely higher. God struggled for generations to save His people from sin. To keep them from eternal death. But they were unable or unwilling to follow the rules that would keep them safe. Still, He loved them and us so much that instead of allowing us to get what we deserved, He allowed His Son to die to save us. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”-John 3:16

I spent years attempting to learn just who God is and what He actually means to my life. While I was trying to believe in a heavenly Father who loves me, I had many questions. Question from why a Holy God would choose me to whether or not I was worthy of His choice. Questions about what I could do to serve Him, to how, if this was all true, I couldn’t hear His voice. Finally, it was my awe for the beauty of Jesus’ death upon the cross that convinced me that I do indeed have a heavenly Father who loves me.

The sacrifice Jesus chose to make in obedience and love for His Father, is the most selfless gesture in the history of the world.  Jesus got literally nothing from it other than to please His Father. And every time I think about what he endured to reconcile me to God even though I had done nothing to deserve it, and when I think of what He gave up so I would not spend eternity in hell, I cannot help but shed tears of gratitude, tears of sorrow, and tears of joy. But mostly gratitude.

I am grateful that God chose me and I am grateful Jesus broke death’s hold on me. I am grateful that I know that no matter how much pain I endure in this life there is a time when all pain will vanish forever. I’m grateful that at the finished work of Jesus’ the vail in the temple was torn so that we can now pray and talk to our God with no mediator. That’s how personal our God is, He allows us to come into His court with praise, to kneel before His throne to worship Him. In fact, He loves for us to come into His presence. No other God has ever been so accessible.  While the sun was darkened. And the veil of the temple was torn in the middle. –Luke 23:45

The crucifixion story is so moving and the resurrection so triumphant, that every time I read it I am struck anew with awe.  And every time I thoughtfully consider this beautiful story it evokes almost every emotion of which I am capable. Because I know that if I were the only one in danger of eternal death, Jesus would have gone to the cross just for me.

Knowing this, I want to live the rest of my life in a manner that shows my gratitude. And I would think that every other Christian would do the same. Because, unlike my daughter in her teen years, we are old enough to understand that everything God asks of us, every rule He gives us, is for our own good. But spoiler alert I have not always been able to live out my gratitude.

Why is it is so difficult to live our lives according to God’s laws? Every time I read the book of James I am humbled by how much I still get wrong. And sometimes, like a teenager, I say to myself, “You can’t get it right so just stop trying.” I know you recognize the childishness of that thought. But I bet you’ve had that same thought yourself at one time or another.

Beyond the fact that to quit because we are frustrated is so childish, the reason we can’t stop is that Jesus died a horrific death so that we could stumble along cloaked in grace toward the sanctification that will make us blameless in the eyes of God. Jesus is a gift God gave to mankind that will save man from death. While at the same time, sinners are a gift God gave to Jesus so that He might demonstrating the saving grace of His Father and glorify Him on earth. We can’t allow Him to be disappointed by His gift. I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. John 17:6

When we really look closely at why we have such difficulty living by God’s rules we find no basis for the difficulty. We tend to complicate what is expected of us. We tend to think of God’s rules as restrictive and that they exclude everything we want to do. But is that true?

Let’s look together at what God asks of us as Christians and see which part we don’t think is the right thing to do?  According to James, what God wants from us can be broken down this way:  Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

I feel sure that we don’t really have resistance to looking after those who are less fortunate than us. After all, any decent person would do that right? Maybe we need to be reminded once in a while to look around outside ourselves to see who needs help, but then most of us will step up. But let’s be real, mostly we will help others with their needs only after we have taken care of our comforts. That’s not really the idea James was trying to convey.

But the real deal-breaker is to keep ourselves unpolluted from the world. For that, we would have to reel in our basest emotions, thoughts, and lusts. We would have to stop doing the thoughtless worldly behaviors of seeing, wanting, taking, with no thought to the consequence. We would have to quit trying to impress others. We would have to give up everything we do just to maintain our image, whatever that is. And we would have to think about what we are doing, what we want to do and the consequence of doing either. That’s a lot of work.

But it is only a lot of work if we have our eyes on the world and the here and now. When we turn our minds and our eyes to eternity it doesn’t seem to be so much work. This world is not meant to be our home. We are supposed to feel out of place here. And for some of us, that is why we find it difficult to live according to God’s laws. We are trying to manage one foot in each world. God won’t accept it and the people of the world won’t either. We have to make a choice.

When I was new to Christianity I really dreaded reading the Book of James. But in reality it is exactly what we need on a regular basis. James is relentless about calling us on what we are supposed to be doing as Christians. And for those of us who really liked Paul’s assurance that we are saved by faith and not by works and therefore rest in the idea that there is nothing else required of us, James is ruthless. Because he shines a light on the fallacy of that belief.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe fully that we are saved by grace through faith. But this is just the beginning. Will we go to heaven if we do the bare minimum; that is to confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that God has raised him from the dead? Well, there are differing opinions but I’m with the camp that says yes we will. If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord”, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:9-10

 But we will also get the bare minimum of heaven. That is we will not burn in hell. But I believe there is so much more than that in God’s kingdom.  And so faith and confession is just the beginning. It gives us salvation that saves us and frees us from the penalty of sin. Salvation then qualifies us for sanctification where we are freed from the power of sin. During our sanctification we learn, day by day, to walk more and more like Jesus. It is how, day by day, we are remade in the image of Jesus.

And to walk as Jesus walked we must do good works. James tells us that having faith without putting it into action is no faith at all. He is very emphatic that faith without action is useless. In his example, he shows us that if someone is without warm clothes and without food and we tell them we will pray for them but do not feed them or clothe them, our faith is useless. In that same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action is dead. –James 3:17

Through sanctification, God will begin to change our hearts to be more like the heart of Jesus. God will replace our selfish hearts with a heart for our brothers and sisters and those who are in need of help. It may well be that if we do not find our hearts changing and our concern for those less fortunate growing, perhaps we have not been saved at all.

I resisted this understanding for a long time. Not because I didn’t want to help others, not because I couldn’t feel my heart changing but because I didn’t want to be held accountable for all of it. In other words, I wanted to be Christ-like when it was convenient for me but when it wasn’t I wanted to ignore it. I guess this is the definition of having one foot in each world.

But Jesus says if we love Him we will feed His sheep. In this, I believe He was saying that this is how we can put our love and faith into action where it means something. It is only common sense that love and faith that is merely a feeling or a belief does no good for anyone. I just can no longer hide from the fact that God wants us to put our faith into action. He wants each of us to do what we can. He wants us to be responsible for each other and give one another the love He has given us.

So, what do you say? Can we all make a decision to, if we haven’t already, cross over from salvation to sanctification? Give in to being the Christian God wants us to be? Can we allow our hearts to be changed as God sees fit? If we have the salvation that freed us from the penalty of sin, we no longer have to be slaves of sin.

Through sanctification we can achieve freedom from the power of sin and sin will have no hold on us. As sin’s power over us diminishes day by day, we can resist our sin natures more and more. And when we do that we will be eligible for glorification on the return of our Lord. On that day and forevermore we will be free from the presence of sin.

Let’s Us Pray

Heavenly Father, we are thankful for your love. We are thankful that when man would not live by your laws you didn’t decide to trash us and start over from scratch. You could have easily done so. Yet, instead, you loved us so much that you gave your son to death to save us. We can never repay that Lord. But we can go beyond our salvation and allow you to sanctify us as you change our selfish hearts to hearts for you and one another. We give our lives over to you now Lord. Please purify our hearts as you teach us to walk in the steps of Jesus. Please show us how to take care of one another as you mean for us to do. Lead us and let us hear your voice and understand your commands. Thank you for your love and patience Lord, we pray this in the holy name of Jesus, Amen.

 

Points for Pondering and Prayer
Or Perhaps for Putting Pen to Paper

Have you ever tried to convince someone you care about to do or not do something that would possibly harm them and they just wouldn’t listen?  Write a few sentences about how you felt in this situation.

 Do you believe that once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior we are covered and can’t go to Hell?          Write something explaining why you believe this. Use support from scripture, if you can.

 Do you think that is the right way to look at being saved? Write a paragraph about why or why not.

 Do you agree with James that faith without deeds is useless? Write something about why or why not

 Do you believe that God wants us to do good works, taking care of those less fortunate and spreading the gospel to others? Why or why not?