“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”        John 16:33 

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.-1Peter 3:18

…they will condemn Him to death and will hand Him over to the Gentiles.”They will mock Him and spit on Him, and scourge Him and kill Him, and three days later He will rise again.”-Mark 10:33-34

 No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity. But God is faithful; He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way out so that you may be able to bear it.      I Corinthians 10:13

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.-Romans 8:28

                       

It’s All a Part of My Plan

“O God
“How can I stand this pain, my Lord?” 
“I know your grace should be enough.”
“But what if it isn’t like it was for Paul?”
“Is that, then, the end Your love?”
“Is this pain part of your plan?”
“Can your grace really see me through?”
“How do I wade through this incessant pain?”
“Or know what You want me to do?”
“Because the pain is too much,
And it’s lasted too long;
I’m at the end of my rope.
And I’m just not that strong.”

“My Child,
I allow you this pain to give you a glimpse
Of the pain that Christ suffered for you.”
“He died an agonizing death on the cross
Solely to be your rescue.”
“So accept that I’m good, or curse my existence,
It’s a decision you must make every day.”
“You can choose my support or walk all alone
You will experience pain either way.”
“I won’t stop loving you no matter your choice.
For you are my child and I am your Dad.”
“And trust me to tell you your pain is like nothing
Compared to the pain that your Savior had.”
“Everything that happens is part of my plan
Or, I work it for your good somehow.”
“You are never alone, I hear every prayer
But I don’t always answer out loud.”
“I won’t give you more than you’re able to handle.”
“For, I will always help in one of two ways;
I will give you supernatural strength,
Or provide an escape passageway.”
“I hope you can see me as trustworthy
And that you can be real and authentic with me.”
“Bringing all that you are to me in prayer
Without worry that I might not agree.”
“For I know your heart as well as your mind
And without judgment, I accept it all.”
“And I promise you, without an exception,
That I catch every tear as it falls.”
”What to believe is always your choice.”
You must decide if you trust in my love.” 
“But believing I love you is the prerequisite
To knowing my grace is enough.”
©Linda Troxell 10/06/2018

 

I’ve really never thought of myself as much of a victim. I’m not much of a complainer and most of the time I am thankful for what I have. But lately, I’ve realized that I don’t tolerate pain or discomfort very well. When either of them becomes intense or if they hang around too long, I tend to begin to whine to God about why He is doing this to me; asking why do I have to have pain.  Acting as if I’m somehow too important to be uncomfortable. Yes, I admit I don’t have a very high tolerance for discomfort or pain. In years past I did have a high tolerance.  But that was pain that lasted a limited amount of time, a few hours, or a few weeks at most. But now, the pain I have is chronic and it is much harder for me to manage. And, I admit I am not tolerating it with the poise and courage God expects of me.  I am thankful that I really haven’t had to look at this deficit of character very often, because I’m not proud of it at all. But, this year, it seems, my attention has been drawn by a variety of events that have forced me to look at my flaws of character quite often. It makes me think that God must want me to address them. Ya think?

It began in July of this year with the Thai soccer team that was trapped in the underwater caves in Thailand. The team consisted of 12 boys and their coach. The youngest boy was 11 and the oldest 14. Their coach, the only adult on the expedition, was only 25.  When I thought of what those boys endured with, apparently good spirits, I couldn’t help comparing my tolerance for discomfort to theirs. Do I have to say out loud that there was no comparison; that they won hands down? It really started me thinking about my tendency to blame God for my trials and tribulations, as well as my belief that He should take them away from me.  Jesus told us that in the world we would have trouble and suffering. “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”– John 16:33. So why, in the world, would I think that I am special enough to be exempt?

The rescue was much more perilous then the rescuers let on because they wanted the boys to be as confident and as calm as possible for the swim out of the cave. The Navy Seals who rescued the team did not believe that they would get them all, if any, out alive. They labeled it a miracle that all of the boys survived. Unfortunately, not all of the brave men who volunteered for the mission survived; one diver died while participating in the rescue. Ironically, he was delivering oxygen tanks to enable the boys to swim out of the caves and on the way he ran out of oxygen.

I have to admit that I was humbled, and a bit ashamed about my complaining when I watched 12 adolescent boys and their coach preparing to be rescued from underwater caves after 9 long days of wondering if they would be found. None of the boys, or their coach, knew how to dive, indeed, they didn’t even know how to swim. So for 7 days after being found in what had to be a terrifying situation, they cheerfully learned to swim and to dive in conditions that were dangerous and potentially deadly. Not one of the group behaved with anything less than poise, courage, and grace throughout their ordeal. Equally, as humbling for me was knowing that every one of those Navy Seals volunteered to risk their lives to save the boys.

However, that was not the only recent event that has forced me to examine my character flaws. Since that tense, but ultimately, happy event, there have been many tragic situations across the country and around the world in which individuals encountered more suffering than I can even imagine. I’m sure that if you are living in America you are well aware of what I am referring to. Since the beginning of 2018, there have been 12 earthquakes around the world that were magnitude 7 or more. Combined, they killed and displaced millions and millions of souls. In September the Indonesian quake and the tsunami which followed displaced over 24 million people and killed over 2,000. But earthquakes weren’t the only tragedies we suffered in 2018.

July is the beginning of Hurricane season. And Mother Nature has been very harsh this year. There have been 4 major hurricanes and 2 tropical storms that have hit land in the U. S.  And the season continues until November 30 so we may not be done yet.  The damage from these storms thus far has been Billions of dollars in property loss and approximately 100 deaths. And that doesn’t include the deaths and damages caused by simple flooding from the unusually amounts of rainfall in some of those same areas before and after the hurricanes. Additionally, there has been 8 tornados in the U. S. since June, which, collectively, killed at least 8 individuals. These weather disasters, of course, have been on the east coast and in the Midwest. So, it seems, that once again Californians have escaped weather disasters.

As much as the west coast has been immune to weather disasters in the past, it has not escaped the wrath of Mother Nature this year. The combination of unprecedented rainfall and unprecedented wildfires in 2018 has devastated the Golden State. At the end of 2017, there had been a total of 9,133 wildfires which combined burned 1.3 million acres. That made it the most destructive fire season in the state’s history. In turn, it set the stage for a disastrous 2018 in California.

January 2018 brought an unusual amount of rainfall to southern California in  Northwest Los Angles County and Santa Barbra County; 4 inches and 5.5 inches respectively. Worse, yet, in parts of Santa Barbara County, on one occasion, an inch or more rain fell in just 15 minutes. The amount of rain and the short time period in which it fell resulted in heavy flooding and mudslides in the areas below where the forest had burned just the month before. In the two days of rain, flash floods and mudslides in both counties, 20 people were killed and 2 were missing.

And March, brought what seemed to be an instant replay when SantaBarbara County and Montecito County, directly to its north, got another 9.5 inches of rain causing even more flooding and mudslides. Before it was all over and done there were over 30,000 residents evacuated between the two counties and an unconfirmed number of deaths and missing persons due to that storm. Los Angeles County fared a bit better in the March storm with only a small number of evacuations and that only as a precaution. But they weren’t safe yet. In November 2018, the deadliest wildfires in California’s history hit Los Angeles County.

 As it turned out, the 2017 fire season, at the time the most destructive in history, pales in comparison to the 2018 fire season still not over. So far, California has not been fire free even one day in 2018 since July. To date, there has been up to 500,000 acres burned, and one town, Paradise, no longer exists.  There are well over 100 dead, and more still missing as a result of these combined fires. The fires, very difficult to contain because of very low humidity and California’s very famous and very stubborn Santa Ana winds, would, eventually, employ firefighters from every state in the South West, the National Guard, and fire crews from several of the local honor correctional facilities in the effort to extinguish it.

the enormity of loss in such a short period of time was staggering. So many lost so much in the fires; they lost their homes, their cars, their pets and some lost everything including their lives. This is a magnitude of pain I don’t understand. But I know it is more devastating than my pain by far. 

I do have legitimate pain, day in and day out. It’s difficult to bear and it does not pale because others suffer more. However, my self-absorbed response to the pain, my interpretation of the pain, and feeling sorry for myself because of the pain, when compared to what those people have lived through and have yet to mourn, is certainly nothing to be proud of. I don’t know why some people have chronic pain and others don’t. I do know that those others have different hardships to deal with, say hurricanes, earthquakes, and fires. And I know that when compared with what Jesus suffered during His crucifixion, whatever pain any of us will experience in this life is as nothing.

 Jesus had to die to redeem our sin. The wages of sin is death; God would not suspend a major law of the universe because it pained Him to see us die. But He could come up with a way to fulfill that law that would protect us from death. And He did just that. He sent his Son to live a sinless life and then die in our place to satisfy the law. For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.–1 Peter 3:18.  Jesus had to die to redeem our sin, but did He have to die in such a horrible way? Was that much suffering necessary to satisfy the law? I don’t think it was. I think the suffering that Jesus went through was an extra gift from Him to us.

If Jesus had not suffered during His life, if he had not been persecuted, betrayed, beaten and scourged, He could not know firsthand the suffering this life can hold for us, the ones for whom He serves as High Priest. Jesus had to live an authentic, yet sinless, human life in order for Him to be able to authentically comfort us in our human pain. The reason that He is a comfort, at least for me, is that he has lived it. He is not some impersonal, unfeeling spectator savior who responds to our painful cries for help with an indifferent,“ I told you so.” No, He is a personal savior who responds with empathy and understanding. Because He knows what it feels like to be in pain. He knows what unfair and despair feel like. And for that, He had to suffer.

Jesus gave us the underserved, incredible gift of dying to redeem our sins; and then He extended that gift in a way almost impossible to comprehend; He suffered before His death that He may know exactly why it is we need comfort   …they will condemn Him to death and will hand Him over to the Gentiles. “They will mock Him and spit on Him, and scourge Him and kill Him, and three days later He will rise again.”-Mark 10:33-34.

Having said all of that, I still have to admit that sometimes, when my pain is unrelenting and I have had enough, I ask myself if there could really be a God and if so, does He really care about me. If He cares about me why does He allow me to suffer for so long? Now, if you’re thinking you’re about to get the answer to these questions, I hate to disappoint but I don’t have those answers. However, I have gotten some answers from God when I asked in a posture of seeking answers, rather than seeking pity. God has spoken to my heart and assured me that He knows me, He cares for me, and He wants to comfort me if I will only let Him.

I would like to say I don’t know what that means but I do. What it means is if I quit feeling sorry for myself and I bring my pain and my doubt to him in prayer with an open heart,  I will be comforted. And He, of course, is right. When I pray with sincerity He doesn’t take away the pain but I can tolerate it better after I pray. So, either He has reduced the pain or given me the strength to endure. And that’s not nothing, my friends!

I have come to understand, through these experiences that believing in God is a choice I make. And that it isn’t a one-time choice. No, I must make that choice every time I need God; every time I call on Him. I can choose to believe that He does exist and He does love me. I can celebrate what a gift it is to have Jesus right there with me knowing exactly how I’m suffering because He suffered too. Or, I can believe that it is all wishful thinking and there is no God, no Jesus, and no Holy Spirit. I can be cynical and believe that we are nothing more than flesh and blood, born alone and destined to die alone with no help in between. Or I can be joyous because I have a high priest that understands my struggles in the most personal ways because He struggled too.

But, either way, I’m going to have pain, fear, and disasters in my life which I can not control. And I’m going to need comfort. So, for me, it’s a no-brainer. I choose to believe that God is my Father, Jesus is my Savior and the Holy Spirit is my Counselor. I choose to believe that together they are the triune God. I choose to believe that although God might try me, He might stretch me, and He might allow me to be in pain, He will never give me more than I am strong enough to deal with. I choose to believe He will always provide me with an escape, be it from temptation or from pain when I need it. No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity. But God is faithful; he will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation he will also provide a way out so that you may be able to bear it.- I Corinthians 10:13.

Yes, I believe there is a God, I believe He is always good and that He always loves me. I believe that my pain and my unhappiness is never from God but is sometimes used by God to force me to exercise my faith. Because it requires faith to believe in God even when there is no evidence of His existence. In fact, real faith is trusting in God even when there is evidence against His existence. It is choosing to believe God’s word over the word of the world.

So I continue to turn to God in my pain, even in the times of despair when I’m not convinced He really exists because I know He has never failed me yet. I know that when I have the faith I should have, God uses everything that happens in my life, the bad and the good, for my good and for the good of the world. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.-Romans8:28. And with faith and believing comes the greatest of God’s gifts, knowing that His grace is always enough.