Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! – Psalm 46:10 

 He who said to them “Here is rest, give rest to the weary.” And, “Here is repose,” but they would not listen.-Isaiah 28:12

 In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.
–Proverbs 16:9

 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness-1 John 1:9

In The Palm of My Hand

When you find yourself in turmoil
Because you’ve created chaos and conjured strife;
You finally think to pray to Me,
Asking Me to direct your life.

You promise you will be patient,
You will allow Me to lead the way.
But the same thing happens every time,
No matter what you might say.

Slowly your mind becomes restless,
Then you allow fear to become your guide.
You tune into the roar of the outside world
And simply ignore what I’m whispering inside.

Even though you told Me you trust Me,
Even though you said you have faith;
Even though you promised to depend on Me,
To remain calm and simply wait.

You begin to feel very anxious,
Then your mind starts to spin,
In your heart, you plan the course
Of what it would take, this time, to win.

You make the same promise each time,
And I know your intentions are pure,
But somehow, to sit and wait, patiently
Is a state you cannot yet endure.

Well, I will never abandon you,
Because My love for you is too strong.
My acceptance is unconditional,
Whether you’re right or whether you’re wrong.

I only wish that I could convince you
To let go of your obsessive plans.
To be still and know that I am your God,
And you are safe in the palm of My hand.
© Linda Troxell 4/24/2017

 

We’ve all done it, some of us do it repeatedly. We turn a problem over to God and we ask Him to resolve it in a way that serves the best interests of everyone involved. And then 5 minutes later, or 30 minutes, or maybe even a full day later, we begin making plans to resolve it ourselves. Why do we do this? Well, I guess we each have a unique slant on why we do it, but I would venture to guess that each of them includes an element of anxiety. For me, it is usually one part fear and one part anxiety that robs me of the peace of allowing God to take care of my worries. I say I have faith, I profess to believe that “God is in charge and all is well”. But when it comes to putting my money where my mouth is, that is, resisting the pull that anxiety exerts to take my worries back, well that is when my behavior belies what I profess to believe.

I recently read something that opened my eyes to a pattern in my life. Whenever I am afraid, whenever I am anxious about anything, I start planning. At a time when I should be looking to God,  when I should, as Psalm 46:10 advises: “Be still and know that I am God,” when I should be affirming that He is in charge and allowing Him to calm me, I am making useless plans. I realize the activity is a subconsciously devised strategy to distract me from the fear and the anxiety inherent in the unexpected events of life; events that unsettle me and over which I have no control. And the strategy has worked perfectly for many, many, years. But unfortunately, as I recently realized, in addition to distracting me from fear and anxiety, obsessive planning is a tool the enemy uses to also distract me from God.

Paradoxically, this made me begin to wonder if fear and anxiety might be part of God’s plan to create and develop intimacy between Himself and His children. Think about it. When we are afraid and anxious we are also at our most vulnerable. If we take this vulnerability to God and we depend on Him to soothe us, to reassure us, to restore our peace, it goes a long way toward building a relationship of trust. However, when we instead, probably with some help from the enemy, depend on ourselves and a pattern of obsessive and useless planning (or another useless strategy we might have devised) to distract us from this fear and anxiety, we are sabotaging our relationship with God. We are in effect saying that we do not believe that God can, or will help us. Because, if we believe God will help us, what then do we have to plan?

So now that I know that this obsessive planning, which works as designed, to block fear and anxiety, also blocks my intimacy with God, what do I do with that knowledge? It seems I have two choices. I can go on using my perfectly good block from fear and anxiety and accept that my relationship with God will be of limited intimacy. Or I can give up my obsessive planning and trust that as my relationship with God becomes more intimate He will block the fear and anxiety. Of course, there are other things to consider in making my decision. For example, I must consider that, if I choose to give up obsessive planning, I must be prepared for the fact that it won’t be an easy transition. I cannot expect to be able to just stop planning without some resistance from my subconscious mind, which has become quite accustomed to the distraction, and the enemy who does not want me to be intimate with God. So, considering all of that resistance, if I choose to give up the obsessive planning I can expect some, probably a lot, of failure. However, I also know that God will accept and support my sincere efforts without condemnation. The Bible tells me so in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 

 On the other hand, if I choose to keep the obsessive planning, I must face the fact that my relationship with God will be shallow at best. Because a relationship which lacks intimacy is really more of a conception of a relationship than it is a true relationship. After all, intimacy, by its very definition, indicates affection, close association, familiarity, and deep understanding, all of the things without which a relationship would be tenuous and quite hollow. Either way, there are gains and losses. To continue planning is the path of least resistance, as are most of the enemy’s tools. It involves no real effort because nothing changes.  If I choose it I gain the familiar means of taming fear and anxiety through the distraction of planning, and I lose the opportunity to have an intimate relationship with my maker. If I choose to give up planning, the more difficult but more soul-nourishing route, I gain the opportunity to forge an intimate relationship with the ruler of the universe and lose the security of the only means I’ve ever known to keep fear and anxiety at bay.

So what should I do? Well, what would you do?

Points for Prayer and Pondering

1. What do you do to distract yourself from fear and anxiety? Do you see an obsessive or compulsive element in this activity? (Obsession is uncontrollable thoughts and compulsion is  irresistible behavior) 
2. How does this affect your relationship with God? 
3. How do you view the idea that God may use fear and anxiety as a part of His plan to build intimacy with His children?  Do you agree? Do you disagree? What makes you agree or disagree?